How do you feel about love these days?

This past Christmas I was given a gift by a dear friend. It was a book called “642 things to write about” by the San Francisco Writers Group. And just like the title says there is 642 writing prompts inside. I highly recommend it to the writers out there. A lot of the prompts are very thought provoking. I thought I’d share my response to one of them.

“How do you feel about love these days?”

I assume that the prompt is referring to romantic love. Truthfully my attitude on romantic love is a little somber. Love to me is like a palm tree in a vast desert. And I’m a weary traveler whose been walking the desert for many miles. I see the palm tree in a distance and I think to myself “There’s a chance that the palm tree could actually be real and not a mirage.” But I’m afraid to run towards it for fear that it is just a mirage. In other words I know that love is real a thing but it seems so far off that I wonder if it will ever be a reality for me. My rational brain knows God put this desire in me to be in love and to get married and He always delivers on his promises. But sometimes my irrational heart thinks otherwise.  Sometimes I say to myself “I’m not ready to be married right now so why does it matter? I’m still young, I have plenty of baby bearing years ahead of me.” Yes that’s true but then why do I think about it almost everyday? Perhaps it’s because I have never really been in love. Yes I’ve uttered those 3 words to someone but I did not mean them. I’ve trusted and deeply cared for but never truly loved. It’s everywhere you look, in the movies and on the radio, somebody is either falling in or out of love. I can’t help but be curious about this powerful thing that has such an affect on life.

So how do I feel about love these days? Conflicted, because my head says “Be patient it, will happen”. But my heart says “Hurry up and find me someone to love.” 

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