The Battle Within

imageI was not always the woman I am today. Most of my childhood to early adulthood I struggled with self-hatred heavily. It affected every decision I made. But by the grace of God I overcame it….well mostly. I think most people who know would say I amunapologetically myself no matter what. I have come to love all things I hated about myself in the past. But that girl I used to be, she’s still there trying to bully me, I wrestle with her daily. And even though she’s defeated every single time the fact that she’s still around scares me. She’s that whisper saying that I’m not smart enough or pretty enough. She says I’m not worthy of anything good because I mess up every good thing in my life. She says the man for me doesn’t exist and I’ll be alone forever. My true self knows none of this is true, and so I fight her off. But I’m tired of this constant battle within. Can the old me truly be banished? Or will she forever linger in the darkest parts of my mind?

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3 thoughts on “The Battle Within

  1. This is so good & Im so glad you’re here. I recognize & respect that your last two questions may be rhetorical but it reminded me of something.

    My father in law always says, when watching a football game, you never see them run off the field and tackle the spectators or the hot dog man. They only tackle those IN the game. Moving targets on the move.

    Be encouraged, you must be carrying something wonderful with such incredible potential as a non-spectator in this game called life!

    Rejoicing with you in advance,

    e

    Like

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