I Just Want To Be Okay

I’ve been dancing in the rain a bit too long, I’m thoroughly wet and cold to the bone.The rain has lost its beauty, its instead become my torment. The clouds are dark above me and the wind hard against me. With each step I take, the mud seems thicker around my feet. I’m desperate for one ray of sun to peek through these clouds.

There is a cloud of dissatisfaction over all the places in my life and it seems its been hanging there for awhile. I’m taking steps to try to change things and I have faith that it will all work out. But what about the inbetween times, the waiting area, or the hallways? How do you navigate that? My friend told me to dance in the rain. But what do you do when you’ve grown tired of that? I’ve been praying and reading my word, trying to stay faithful, keeping God’s promises in mind. But what do you do when as soon as you walk out the door your fighting to just be okay? What do you do when you sit at your desk fighting off tears? I know one can never be happy all of time, but I long for that peace in the storm.

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6 thoughts on “I Just Want To Be Okay

  1. I am in the middle of a similar season but my silver lining came in being completely honest with someone else about all I was feeling and going through. Yes we dance in the rain but at times our tears mingle in as well. I can’t say that everything immediately became better because I am still in a dark place but now I feel like I am waiting instead of wasting away. Honest moments like this are the best step when it feels like you can’t do anything else.

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  2. Sometimes it’s ok to not be ok! Don’t feel pressured just because you know God to think that you have to be alright all the time because he is bigger. My favourite book in times of hurt is Habakkuk, give it a read, he has so much anguish and hurt and confusion and is forever asking God questions but take a look at what he says in chapter 3 verses 17-19, even though I’m hurt, even though I see no miracles, even though I don’t feel blessed, even though there is no fruit yet in this season, even though my heart is heavy, even though I can’t see the path ahead, even though there is nothing that makes me feel better right now, I will praise The Lord! Praying for you lovely

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  3. And I pray it comes and you recognize it when it manifests. Thank you for writing what a lot of us are afraid to speak aloud or even share with another.

    You are not alone. Your truth helped set a captive free who thought they were the only one.

    Rejoicing with you in advance.

    Father please turn the rain into showers of blessings for my sister…

    Amen

    Liked by 1 person

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