On this day in 2014 I started my blog. I had no idea what I was doing, all I new was that it felt right, and exciting. We are coming very close to the end of 2015 and as I look back I realize it has been a difficult year. Mostly it has been the growing pains of leaving behind early adulthood and opening the door true adulthood. Things like buying a car completely on my own and getting health insurance. This blog has been here for me every step, as that creative outlet when life was too much.
January 1, 2015 I wrote:
I don’t usually make New Years resolutions but this year I am. My only resolution will be to write more. Hence this blog. I want to use more of my time for my passion. I don’t know exactly what 2015 will hold but I know with God above me and my loved ones beside me it will be everything I want and more.
Well I did write more for sure! I blogged consistently every month and I journaled. My passion for writing and especially poetry grew. But was it everything I wanted? Well…I don’t know. I found myself about midway through in a job that I didn’t enjoy, struggling in my classes, never too far away from tears and trying but failing to get a good nights sleep.
Summer brought some new experiences though. I went on a trip without any family, just friends. I went white water rafting, which was super fun. I was invited to a few parties and celebrations. It was a good summer.
Fall was a killer. With every fallen leaf my depression grew. I think I cried to God more in the months of September and October than ever before in my life. I tried therapy for the first time ever and I learned that I needed to make time for the things I enjoyed, especially if most of my day consisted of things that I didn’t. Also I needed to learn to be okay with not being okay and to be honest I’m still working on that one. My blog during this season fell to the bottom of my priorities, there just isn’t enough time in the day. But like a good friend the blog is still here even when I neglect it.
I have high hopes for 2016, I mean if its not better than 2015 then I’m just going to throw in the towel. I’ll call quits on life, curl up into a little ball and lay there until I starve to death. I’m kidding of course, but barely. I’m ready for this pre-quarter life crisis to end before my actual quarter life (25th birthday) begins. So prayers up dear friends to only gains in 2016!