Ain’t It Fun?


When I was in my twenties, it felt like I was riding wild horses, and I was hoping I didn’t go over a cliff.
-Chaka Khan

Truer words have never been spoken, thank you Ms. Khan for such an accurate description. This is exactly how I feel now, like I have no control over my life I’m at the whim of this crazy world and at any moment it’s going to hurl me off a cliff to which there is no coming back.
Your 20’s are the prime of your life, vital or so that’s what they say. Well I suppose it’s true I guess. For me my 20’s have been this crazy difficult maze, full of painful wrong turns, and a few happy right ones. It’s difficult because on the one hand your an adult in the eyes of the world. You can vote, drink, rent a car, get a grown up job. But on the other hand you’re trying your darndest to grow up as quickly as possible so you can handle it all. There’s so much to figure out and you’ve got to navigate it while also trying to shake off those childhood insecurities.
Sometimes you hardly know whether you’re coming or going. You don’t know when you should stand up and endure or throw in the towel and go put “This Woman’s Work” on repeat and crawl in bed with a box or tissues. Sometimes you want to do both at the same time! You’re trying figure out what you need and what you want in life. And if it’s okay to have some things in your life just because you want them and don’t need them. That elusive “career” your supposed to have is looming over your head like a big dark rain cloud. And the even more elusive relationship you would like to have is showing its ugly face too.
You love your life one day then hate it the next and the day after that you’re indifferent. You want to have a more mature spiritual life but pop culture is bombarding you with everything that goes against it. You want to have fun and have crazy adventures but your bank account is telling you it isn’t possible. Not to mention the debt that you’re trying to ignore is holding a knife to your back.
Sometimes you want to go off the grid and live off the land for awhile. But then you remember how attached you are to things like Wi-Fi and your favorite pair of boots that just aren’t made for the wilderness.
Every single decision you make you wonder if you’re going to regret it when your 30.
You wish someone would just understand but it seems no one does. You look to your elders for advice but they seem to have forgotten what it’s like. They’re either at a loss for words or they give you some generic advice that you could easily find in a crappy self help book.
You’re an adult and it’s all up to you- oh happy day.
All this and you’re supposed to be a functioning human being!

I wish I had some great advice for my fellow 20 something’s out there but I don’t. I wish I could tell you the secret to handling it all but I can’t. I’m clawing my way through it just like you. All I can tell you is to take it one day at a time. If you need to cry take a moment and do it. If you feel like breaking something, don’t. Go take a kickboxing class or something, and get that frustration out. Don’t let anyone undermine what you’re going through. Just because you’re young doesn’t mean you don’t have problems. Tell them to take a seat and keep it moving, they aren’t living your life. Try to have fun when you can, try some new things, and lastly just know that you are going to make it, somehow.

*photo credit


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