Cliches That Dating Apps Prove to be True

I have been single for four years.
I wasn’t purposely single but I wasn’t actively looking either. I thought that I’d meet someone organically in my everyday life, but it never happened. So a few months ago I decided to get intentional about this dating thing and enter the world of dating apps. I created accounts on Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, and OkCupid.
I told myself I was going in without any expectations, but I was lying to myself. I’m a dreamy type, so I had daydreamed about going out on coffee dates, having great conversations, sending flirty texts, first kisses, the whole nine. I wasn’t expecting to meet the “One” or my “Forever Person” because I’m just a tad too cynical for that, but I had hopes of vibing with someone. I do realize that being a cynical dreamer is kind of a contradiction but hey I’m an onion, I have layers.
Anyways, my experience has been fascinating to say the least.

“Men are from Mars”
I could never claim to understand men that much before, but I can definitely say I understand them even less now. I realized that some men hit the like button just for kicks, they have no intention of actually getting to know you. I don’t understand this, and I’ve given up trying. Also, I have been in the middle of what I perceived as a flowing conversation and then out of nowhere a guy will stop responding. It was frustrating at first, but I now just put less stock in the likes I get.

“There’s plenty of fish in the sea”
There really is, it’s a good thing and bad thing. If a guy rubs you the wrong way or God forbid asks for nudes there’s a ton of other guys to choose from. On the other hand the endless scrolling can be overwhelming, especially on apps like Bumble and OkCupid. I started logging on every few days just to keep myself sane.

“Watch out for the wolves in sheep’s clothing”
You would think in 2017 with MTV’s “Catfish” in it’s sixth season that “catfishing” would be a thing of the past. But it is not. I was texting back and forth with a guy for about a week, and something just felt off. He “spoke” like no dude I’d ever met before, it was very flowery, and romantic. And his vernacular did not match the person he claimed to be. I did a reverse image search on his profile photo just like they do on the show and very easily found his identity to be false. I was really annoyed but also proud of myself for not getting duped.

“Love is a battlefield”
The quest for love for me has been long and arduous. Even just getting to the point of meeting someone in person has taken more effort than I thought it would. I’ve given myself to the 22nd of November to get something going and if it doesn’t happen I’m getting off all my apps and will revisit this next year sometime. I haven’t given up hope completely but I can say that my hope has dwindled.

***

I want to hear from you. What has been your experience with dating apps? Which ones do you love? Which ones do you hate? And is there hope in this crazy world to find real connections?

 

Photo by Joshua Fuller on Unsplash

Advertisements

How Deep Is Your Love?

The question is does he have a desire to know and please God? If not then there’s no point. It’s that simple and that complicated.

photo-1421

It starts out a classic story, girl meets guy. He’s funny, he’s attractive, he’s put together all the things that the girl wants…well at least what she wants on a surface level. She gets to know him some, they have similar upbringings and hobbies. But then the guy drops a curse word with ease, he tells a dirty joke, he references sex with her as something coming soon and at that point the girl knows. He’s not a Christian, or at least not an “all in” one.

It’s something that has happens to all us single Christian girls at one point or another. Meeting a guy we “vibe” with but then we look deeper for that spiritual aspect and there’s nothing there. Now you have to tell the guy that nothing will be happening between you and hopefully you can remain at least friends. The guy will most likely not understand, to him it seems you had the beginnings of something great. He doesn’t get why his faith or lack there of is so important. But it is important, it’s everything.

It’s frustrating because its hard enough to find a guy who meets the first two levels so when you do it’s exciting, only to be let down by the missing third level.
I want to clarify though I’m not looking for a pastor or priest, he can be a normal guy with an average job. The question is does he have a desire to know and please God? If not then there’s no point. It’s that simple and that complicated.

I wrote this because it’s something that I have experienced a lot these last few years. I’ve met a lot of nice guys but none of them having that third aspect.
But what I have resolved to do is learn more about men from these encounters. They may not be Christian men but they are still men. I feel now I understand more the thought processes of men compared to women (they really are less complicated). And I’ve gotten a chance to really hone in on exactly what I like on the first two levels. So all this frustration wasn’t all for naught, now I’m more prepared for the that elusive “One”.