As a long time single person, I could choose to be bitter about Valentine’s Day. I could roll my eyes saying: It’s a cheesy commercial holiday created to line the pockets of greeting card companies and drugstores.
While that may be true, I am looking forward to Valentine’s day because I’m spending it with good friends and good tequila.
These ladies have been the keepers of my secrets and the voice of reason in my madness. Though new jobs and new places have moved us around a bit we’ve managed to hold onto each other. We’ve all known a heartbreak or two, loving the wrong person for too long. We drink tequila not in mourning for those relationships but in celebration that they no longer have control over us.
The love I have for them isn’t romantic but it is passionate, it is steadfast, and it is forever. It deserves to be celebrated just as much as the lovers out there.
So here’s to the platonic loves of my life! May we always tell each other the truth, encourage each other, celebrate each other, laugh together, cry together, drink together, and be there for each other.
Photo by Levi Guzman on Unsplash
I confess that I’ve been writing this post for months. I’ve stopped and started several times. I was afraid of sounding like a pathetic loser and maybe I do sound like one. However, I know that there are other people who feel or have felt the same way I do
Out of all the areas in my life where I haven’t felt completely fulfilled, my social life is in the top 3. I have never had what I wanted when it came to my friendships. I’ve always skirted the edges of social circles but was never really in them.
I’ve wondered over the years if maybe I had unrealistic expectations of others because of my ability to make and keep close friendships is lacking. I know my social anxiety and shyness have played a part, but I think I’ve overcome that mostly. I have a good amount of acquaintances and casual friendships but those truly meaningful ones elude me. Even in the few close friendships I do have it feels I am the one whose more invested. I’m the one making plans and wanting to hang out. It seems if I stopped texting them they wouldn’t text me either.
All I want to do is spend time with the people I care about and share new experiences with them but I find myself spending a lot of time alone. When will I be a priority in any of these relationships? A side of me just wants to quit, quit trying and just accept my lone wolf status as a part of life. But another side of me won’t quit. It keeps searching for Meetups with people who share my interests. I want to find someone who enjoys indie pop rock as much as I do and wants to go to concerts. I want to find a book club who shares my reading interests. I want to find people who share my love of spending their nights in. I want to find people who value my companionship.
The older people in my life want to see me “living it up” while I’m still young. Still, it’s hard to live it up on your own and it’s even harder (at least for me) to find people to live it up with. It’s not that I am unable to enjoy being alone. I am a tried and true introvert, I love being alone. But when you’re alone too much it weighs on you.
I confess that I’ve been writing this post for months. I’ve stopped and started several times. I was afraid of sounding like a pathetic loser and maybe I do sound like one. However, I know that there are other people who feel or have felt the same way I do and that’s who I want to hear from. Anyone else feel they’ve missed the boat on social connection? And if so what did you about it?