I found you in the woods at the edge of the lake, staring into the distance, your mind faraway. Always the gallant soldier you took the worries of others on your shoulders. Your hands, scarred by the violence of war, were rubbing together furiously. It was almost as if there were some invisible substance on them you wanted to get off. I stood there for several minutes wondering what I should do or say. It always seems my words of comfort did nothing to help you. All I wanted was to help you carry the weight.
A snapping twig under my feet shook you from your trance. In my eyes I begged you to tell me your worries. But your hard eyes stayed steady-looking at me, you were not going to confide in me. Instead you smiled as to tell me not to worry and that you had everything under control. You waved me over to sit beside you and as I walked towards my heart was breaking. A little for the rejection of your confidence, but mostly for you. How much can a man bear before he breaks?
(c) T. Winns 2015
Photo: Original, taken by myself.
I have done it again.
I have loved the wrong one.
One whose heart and mind are not in sync.
One whose thrashing against the waves instead of flowing with them.
One whose eyes are not towards heaven.
Why am I drawn to the one room hearts instead of the ones where love can grow?
Surely it will be the death of me.
How many times can a heart be reconstructed?
How many times can it close for repairs?
Fix me dear God because I’ve grown tired of this foolish heart of mine.
(c) 2015 Tawni W.
The Piano man sat down to his second home, & laid his fingers on the ivory slabs. He took a deep breath and his fingers started their magic. With closed eyes, he leaned his head back, and rocked violently as if the music was surging through him; affecting every cell in his body. Every note drew me in closer, calling me by name. It was almost as if the crowd around me had disappeared and it was only him and I in the room. In a trance I was in awe of the way he threw his soul into each key.
As the music winded down, silence draped the room. What a contrast to the sounds just a moment before! Dazed, I was thrusted back into reality. I watched as the Piano man took his simple bow and walked off the stage seemingly unaffected. I began to wonder if the experience had all been a figment of my imagination. Had he not just hypnotized me? Had he not just cast a spell on us all?
I’m afraid to fall in love with you.
I’m afraid to write poems about you,
I am afraid to let you occupy my mind.
What if we’re not meant to be together?
I’m afraid to give my heart to something fruitless.
We walk very different paths, what if they were never meant to join?
The vulnerability of your heart draws me in.
You are so mysterious in your ways, I can never figure you out.
But I’m afraid to look deeper, what if loving you is wrong?
Break ups, we’ve all been there right. They’re not pleasant but sometimes they end up serving another purpose. Most times (at least for me) it’s in pain that we are inspired to create. Some paint, some create music, I write. Whether you’d call it poetry or prose, everything in my heart becomes words. So I don’t regret that relationship, it served it’s purpose. So here it is the poem inspired by the first boy who ever broke my heart, I call it “The End.”
I have shed many tears for you in the lonely moments of the night. I have writhed, sobbed, and bled for you with only God as my audience.
I declare today the end of my struggle. I declare today the end of my pain.
Not one more tear will me leave me if you are behind it. Not one more sleepless night if you are the cause.
My heart is cold to your plight. My body is cold to your touch.
Goodbye to the one who only took from me. Goodbye to the one who never truly cared.