Everyday Inspiration, Day Eleven: A Cup of Coffee

If we were having coffee right now…

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If we were having coffee right now… I’d tell you that I plan to learn to how to play an instrument very soon. God’s been telling me that it’s time to stop wishing, wanting and saying someday. The time is now, go for it. He gave me these gifts and these longings for a reason and it wasn’t to put them on a shelf.

If we were having coffee right now… I’d tell you that ever since I read Fervent by Priscilla Shirer with my bible study group I have been hearing God more and more. It’s exciting, and a tad unnerving. It’s like “Did I really hear that?”

If we were having coffee right now… I’d ask you when do you say when in your career life? I ask that because my relationship with my job is waning. I’ve been praying through some serious anxiety lately at the thought of my job. Sometimes the night before and sometimes in the car when I get in. I’m realizing now that when your job is making you psychologically ill it’s time to rethink some things.

If we were having coffee right now… I’d tell you that the farther I get into adulthood the more I realize how imperfect my childhood was. Well I never really thought it was perfect, but I’m understanding now it was more messed up than I thought. My parents will probably fight me on this one but it’s true. We’re not a “family-oriented” family and it should probably bother me more.

If we were having coffee right now… I’d say that though there are areas in my life where things aren’t great, I’m content. I’m enjoying the journey because I am determined not to waste my youth. I want to see, smell, taste, hear, and touch everything I’ve ever wanted to while I’m still young and able.

 

*photo by Patrick Tomasso

Everyday Inspiration, Day One: I Write Because…

Writing is how I process my life, a lot of times I don’t quite know how I feel about something until I start writing about it. It helps me make sense of my chaotic mind.

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I write because…

It connects me to the world around me. Ever since before I could read I have been obsessed with stories of people’s lives. The love, heartbreak, ups, and downs that mark us and make us individuals but also unite us. The written word is how these human experiences can be shared with the masses. So someone I don’t know and will never meet can share their story with me and I can share my story with them and we can share that bond. And through this bond we can learn something new or find a fresh perspective on something old. Maybe your experience will help me in my life, maybe we’re two of a kind.

Writing is how I process my life, a lot of times I don’t quite know how I feel about something until I start writing about it. It helps me make sense of my chaotic mind.

I love words. I love how words can make us feel something, whether it’s good or bad. I love how a person can string the right words together in just right the way and transport me to another time and place.

It’s my gift. God gives us gifts because he wants us to them. My goal in life is to make the most of everything God has given me.

 

*photo by Negative Space

Poetry 101: Farewell

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I knew this day was coming, the day I’d have to say goodbye. How will I be able to? You are mine. You were my yes in a sea of no’s, my familiar in a room of strangers, my friend in isolation.
Like a rainbow after a rainstorm, you gave me new hope. Hope that me, just as I was could be enough. It wasn’t the way I looked or what I could do. It was just me that you wanted there, real and unfiltered.

But now I must say goodbye. The love I have for you will never die but it must fade. I have to make room for the one who can be forever. I wanted it to be you, I pleaded for it to be you. But my heart has shot past you. I couldn’t be to you what you were for me, and maybe I wasn’t meant to.
And so I release you. You my nearly beloved, my almost paramour, my all but lover.

*image: Michael Phelan

Poetry 101: Beloved

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All those things I wrote, I wrote for you. Because for a reason I may never fully understand, I adore you. And because I could see that you didn’t really think you were worthy of someone truly loving you and you are.
I just wanted to be someone who didn’t need anything from you, but gave to you.
I wanted to be your best friend.
I wanted you to live for something more, something real.
I wanted to peer inside your soul.
And so in case I never get the chance to tell you, I want you to know that you are worthy, you are a gem and I love you.

Poetry 101: Freedom

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We call ourselves free human beings but are we really?

How can we be, when darkness is at every turn?

Gone are the days of going to a concert, the big game, the mall or simply out with with friends as strictly a social event. Now it’s rolling the dice with your life.

Gone are the days when you could be sure of your safety around those sworn to keep you safe. Now when you see those lights in your rear view there’s a chance it could be your last ride.

Gone are the days of leaders who really were for America, for freedom. Now we have bigots who hide behind patriotism.

Gone are the days where you could walk into school and get the education you needed. Now you have to worry about walking into a death trap.

Terrorists, extremists, murderers, bigots, and down right psychopaths everywhere we look.

Gone are the days…but did the good days ever exist? No I don’t think they did.

The world was already on a flaming path to hell, we’re just experiencing a rise in the heat.

 

Poetry 101: Reflection

Sometimes I love my reflection, other times I hate it.

Sometimes I wished that I loved it more, other times I wished I hate it more.

Most times I don’t even recognize my reflection.

Parts of my life require me to look a certain way, it’s drab and it’s beige.

The world expects to look a certain way, it’s  primped and it’s polished.

But somewhere between the world and life’s requirements is what I actually look like. My actual reflection.

It has no rules, no requirements.

It’s not primped and doesn’t have to be polished

It changes with my whims and obsessions.

It has no dress code.

 

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I Want To Know

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I want to know what makes you tick

What makes you angry, what makes you sad

I want to know what gives you joy

What do you live for and who would you die for

I want to know the things that no one knows

What keeps you up at night

I want to know those secret dreams

What drives you

I want to know who was the first person you ever loved

And who was the first person to break your heart

I want to peel away at the layers of you

I want to know, are we kindred souls?