To: My Muse
Who would’ve thought you would come to mean so much to me, and to my art. I don’t even remember when I first met you but suddenly you were there smiling at me. You have no idea the ways you have inspired me. Your kindness, your strength, your heart have pushed me to reveal what is truly within, holding nothing back.
Our love may not be unrequited or furiously passionate like other artists have had with their muses. But it doesn’t mean it isn’t love. It’s a mutual adoration and trust of which I’ve come to rely on. You are a comfort on a particularly dreary day, and I feel safe with you. I don’t know how long we will stay like this, but I intend to enjoy every moment.
I want you to know that you’re more than just a “regular” guy, you are a jewel of a person. So don’t let this world dull your shine my dear. I am praying for you.
A friend asked me today why I hadn’t I posted anything new on my blog, she needed something to read on her lunch break. I know she was joking but it is a valid question, I haven’t posted anything in a while. I’ve been trying to journal, but everything I write comes out as incoherent babble. This has never happened to me before, usually the writing is what helps me get myself together. Then I turn it into a post or a poem on my Instagram account. I’m creatively constipated and it’s not a good feeling.
I’ve been experiencing so many different emotions in these last few weeks. Anxiety, restlessness, loneliness, sorrow, anger, frustration, weariness, I don’t know what to write out about first. I start out writing about the anxiety and that turns into something about anger. Or I’ll start writing about the loneliness and end up with something about restlessness. But none of it makes sense anyway, and it’s not conveying correctly what it is I want to say. So I stay blocked unable to get that release.
It feels like I’ve been thrown overboard into a deep ocean and I’m trying to make it to the surface but I can’t and the more I swim the farther away it gets. I’m growing weak and running out of air. I’m drowning.
Well there you go, finally some release. Thank you Rasha for stirring me up a bit.
“Let’s get lost.”
I want to take a journey with you.
I want to see all the beautiful places.
I want to see how you look with the sea behind you.
I want to see how the setting sun looks in your eyes.
I want to drive all night and contemplate the universe.
I just want to leave the world behind and find a new world with you.
(c) T. Winns2015